Great vlog. Honest and upfront. I too, despite my creative award for writing, have felt at a loss as to complete several projects I have started. Overwhelmed by the ideas that cram into my head. I too over analyse everything. I can identify with your writing crisis. Maybe it is just the birth of a magnificent creation. Like a baby has to learn to talk to walk..then run. Go with it and I look forward to your first Novel. BTW i liked all your story lines..go with the one YOU feel inspired to write the most, because then it will be given your all. Andrea Jane.

let me just start off by saying
that somewhere along the way i started paying
for all of the education ive been waisting
as time slips by, neurons die
and my mylar sheaths begin to smoke and fry
thoughts are caught and devoured
and quickly i feel my intelligence soured
by the world around me and the apathy
of all the routine that has beseeched me

i feel it most when i try to write
because none of my words ever seem right
they always seem off by, just a little
and i think for a while, and my mind starts to fiddle
the way it would, when i didnt like
whatever it was that i would write
only now i dont have the skills
to write down what i accurately feel

there is nothing worse than knowing that
the best you were is in your past
and no matter how hard you try
your inspiration has run dry
dry like the thoughts that stagnate
inside your brain, it is their fate
to sit and die in your frontal lobe
what can i do to start the growth?

i feel lost in my own desire
to reach within and spark a fire
that will light the way
to who i once was
i need this flame simply because
im sick of feeling mediocre
mediocrity was not the life destined for me

see? i just wrote that. horrible. dont rip on me for my spelling, if i limited my vocabulary to what i could spell i would only be able to say “fart” “turd” and “twat”. have a good day denise.

i feel…the exact same way. i dont think there is a worse feeling than knowing you are not what people think you are. people think im very intelligent, and where i once was very intelligent, no longer is that the case. people think im a great writer…once again that was the former brandon, where as the latter is a lazy fat foppish fool. i dont know, i often find myself missing who i once was, but philisophically i know that the problem is not that i have somehow regressed into a state of retardation, rather ive allowed myself to become stagnant. once we stop growing; usually because we are too lazy to break the walls with which we build around ourselves, the things we do become mediocre and within that mediocrity i feel we become even more lazy and just say fuck it. you need to challenge yourself, and i dont mean challenge your life’s situation, dont go out and run a marathon or some shit. but challenge the way you think, start trying to think about things in a different manner, or surround yourself with completely different thoughts. those that provoke your mind into compulsive arguments with itself and those that challenge your way of thinking. sometimes inspiration is sparked doing this. or maybe…im talking out of my ass. either way, i know exactly how you feel.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt