DeniseVlogs Official Site

Okay… I’ve been getting more and more registrations and comments on this website lately and I realized I haven’t updated it since August. That’s 9 months ago… in case you needed help figuring that out.

Here’s the thing… I WANT to have a website that I frequently update. What I’d update it with I’m not even sure of yet. I have some ideas but that’s neither here nor there right now.

The biggest reason I haven’t used this website is because I don’t really own it. Some shady dude bought my domain back when I had less than 1000 subscribers. Then he razzled and dazzled me by saying he would help me design and upkeep my website. At the time I didn’t give a crap because… well… I just didn’t. Nobody was visiting my site anyhow haha.

When I started getting some more hits on my website as a result of my youtube channel, I started putting more thought into the fact that I didn’t actually own it. The lack of control is bothersome. I mean come on. I’m sure you understand.

Not to mention I really hate the outlay of this website.

So basically I’m writing this entry to explain why I haven’t been using it. I apologize for the inconvenience… although I doubt it’s really inconveniencing anyone… but here’s an explanation for those of you that have been asking.

I AM in the process of figuring out a possible new domain and redesigning a new website. I will definitely keep anybody that is interested up to date via twitter and my videos.

Thank you for taking the time to read this hopefully I will work it out very soon.

And hopefully the dude that owns this domain won’t delete this post… but whatever I’ll just make a video about it anyhow haha.

Okay. Yeah. Awesome. Thanks. Bye. <3

I wrote 5 first sentences to 5 different possible stories. None of them have an official genre attached to it yet. I barely thought any of them out. Let me know which one you would want to hear the rest of the most (or the one you would least mind reading the rest of!):

1 – The lights went out… now we knew we were in trouble.

2 – “Mom…”, was the last thing this little body said before he died in my arms. Without even a second thought, I threw him into the trunk of my car.

3 – Harry was checking his emails and eating his nightly bowl of spaghetti when suddenly the door bell rang.

4 – There he was, singing his annoying little tune and strolling along with that innocent smirk across his face, wearing his cologne that you can smell from a mile away. That cologne that gave Charlotte a chill up her spine.

5 – It’s not a drug, but I’m drawn to it like it is. It’s not a person, but it’s a friend I can count on.

Let me know which one you like, thanks!

… is not a writer at all. It’s just a loser with “ideas” and “no time”.

When in fact that loser has all the time in the fucking world. And the loser knows it.

Sure the loser might have a lot of problems right now. How will the loser pay their rent? How will the loser buy food for them self… and their cat. Can the loser combat loneliness by hanging out at unfulfilling places, with unfulfilling people, and participating in conversations that are… unfulfilling?

Of COURSE the loser has problems. They’re loser. It’s expected.

But don’t be misconstrued by the loser’s articulated view of them self. They feel no self pity. Just self inflicted anger.

WHY have these problems arose? What mistakes were made? Why were these mistakes made? Where is this all going? And most important… why is the loser not writing. After all, that’s what it’s all about… isn’t it?

“See, that’s the difference between me and you. I’m leaving because I’m not made for this kind of environment. In order to live here you have to have an incredible drive and a desire to make all of your decisions around your career. You have to REALLY care about being successful at it. You have that. You really want it and enjoy it. I’m not that person” – Says an outsider.

What’s making them think the loser is doing so much to advance? What has the loser done to deceive this person? Odd.

The loser realizes they are probably talking the talk and painting a picture that is clearly a facade. When did the loser stop walking the walk?

There is nothing like being told you are something admirable and in your heart you know you definitely are not… at least not anymore.

The loser decides to write again. Even though lately the thoughts often turn to mush. They will just write the mush… until it becomes something again.

Maybe then the loser won’t be a loser. No matter what happens.

I think I’m a lunatic. Kind of. Sometimes.

Well, maybe not a lunatic… just an extreme over analyzer. Probably one of the most annoying things someone can be. That’s unfortunate.

I recognize this flaw… but only when someone points it out.

It’s funny because I will stress so hard over my compulsive analyzation about something (nothing in particular… this pertains to SO many situations) and then someone will just take a few moments to point out why I’m being ridiculous and *poof* the stress and crazy thoughts disappear.

I just need to be told once, and suddenly I’m grounded again. Very odd. Makes me wonder why I even need someone to “ground” me in the first place.

Is it insanity?

I think I’m sane. I feel sane.

Is it my obsession with the subtext in the world because of the many writing classes that taught me to pay attention to what people are REALLY saying in order to be a “better” writer?

I wouldn’t doubt that being a contribution.

Is it something I picked up from my mother who seems to believe the world is against her and can turn anything someone says into a negative connotation?

Clearly another contribution.

Or is it just because I’m a female? Are all women like this? Do we all over analyze everything from something someone said to the way a stranger glanced at us when we were wearing “the jeans I think I look fat in”?

Yeah, maybe it’s just a stupid female thing.

I’m sexist.

Whateves yo.

I’m working on it. I want to relax. I want to be CHILL!!!

Is it ironic that I wrote a whole blog analyzing the fact that I over analyze with the conclusion that I do not want to analyze too much? :::shrugs:::

And now a video that kinda sorta pertains to this blog… only not really at all except for the title. YAY!!!

Crazy – Gnarls Barkley

Isn’t it weird how you can COMPLETELY lose memory of an event… and then all of sudden something happens to trigger it and it intensely implants itself back into your brain?

And if this little thing did not trigger your memory… then the memory wouldn’t exist. Might as well have never happened.

Significant memories hold their place in my mind… but there is SO much more in between that has been lost. It’s sad to me to think about how most of my life kind of doesn’t exist because I can’t remember a lot of it.

But I guess it’s the same kind of sad that I feel for the possibility that there is nothing after death. If we just cease to exist.

It’s sad in the conscious thought… but if we can’t actually experience the lack there of then there will be no sadness to experience. Just like if we don’t remember what we’re not remembering… there obviously is no sense of sadness over that loss.

Does that make sense?

It makes sense to me so shut the hell up! Go read someone else’s blog. Pshhh.